My Fairy Tale

When I was a little girl, I believed in gallant knights in white horses rescuing hopeless maidens. So when I was growing up, I would look around, waiting to see if my knight would come charging to whisk me off into the setting sun. I waited but no knight came, only boys good at playing characters.

I could only be helplessly answer "yes" to Enzo Macam's question, "Do you ever feel as if you were missing someone you've never met before?" I was missing someone, but either we were not yet ready to meet or we weren't fated to be together in this lifetime. Or maybe there was really no special someone out there and I was just pretending to be a princess in a city of concrete and steel. maybe it was enough to be with someone who understood me a bit. Wishing for more was like wishing for the entire universe to be mine.

So I tried reaching only for the moon, although the stars were winking at me furiously, as if to say that if I was patient enough, the universe and all it had to offer were going to be mine. I didn't heed them, and did land on the moon. I died a little and learned the lessons of several lifetimes. The stars were kind. They nursed me back to health, all the while murmuring that if I listened to the inner voice that I had ignored, I could blaze a trail through the entire universe. And so I decided, if I could not have the universe I would at least have the satisfaction of knowing I aimed for the stars and wouldn't settle for anything less. If I end up alone, I would not be lonely; I would still have the stars and their wisdom. That would be better than ending up with someone who was a "bit of here and there" but who would always leave me wanting for more.

Then one ordinary day, I met a very ordinary man (or so I thought him to be then). The stars did not twinkle extra bright and he was certainly not a snow-white horse. Yet I knew, the way only one can when all is still and silent and the voice of the soul can be heard, that this was the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.

But I was cautious and wary. After all, the fairy tale spoke of white horses and being swept off one's feet, and this was more of a slow (but delicious) ripening of certainty, that this person had the character and the strength,  the values and beliefs, the intellegence, the drive and ambition, and the humor that I wanted to grow up with.

My fairy tale also said "and they lived happily ever after." This was not the case, but still, I'm happy and ecstatic. I have met the man that I have always dreamt of being with, perfect, yet fully human. We both have our faults, but in our desire to be faithful to our commitment, we have taken it upon ourselves to change. For we could love grow in depth and intensity if the path is not stewn with thorns and vines that would bind us closer to one another?

Yes, my fairy tale did come true. Only, fairies did not tell it, and it was no mere tale. My prince really did come for me, and although he didn't come in a white horse, the love I found is no less remarkably perfect.

xoxo,

Sheena <3