Inside My Heart

A few years ago, after my more than a year relationship, I decided to Kissed Dating Goodbye, to just entrust my love life to God.

Some people who heard about my decision not to date until I’m ready for marriage assume that my heart must’ve be broken. No, my heart was made know by my Savior.  The change in my attitude was the result of realizing the implications of belonging to Him. The Son of God died for me! He came to free me from hopelessness of living for myself. That had to change everything – including my love life. Having a boyfriend was no longer my greatest need. Knowing and obeying Him was. I wanted to pleased Him in my relationships even if it meant looking radical and foolish to other people – even if it meant Kissing Dating Goodbye!

-Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye

And owned this poem…

Can I touch his face,

And feel his embrace?

It’s been a long, long wait;

Who is my fate?

“Be patient, my waiting rose;

Your Romeo bee, I chose,

To be someone kind and loving;

Who will arrive in my timing.

Heartaches may come your way;

Sadness in your heart may stay;

In every fall I will help you stand;

I’ll reach out to touch your hand.

I have in mind the place and date;

Not a minute early or a second too late.

Replace your doubts by trust;

For complete surrender is a MUST!”

 

But how could I fall at the time when I am guarding my heart????

When the ever little demanding but somehow a little bit charming cutie pours the magic to the locket, the world goes to a roller coaster. A roller coaster that promised certainty and uncertainty. But when the magic prevails, the star shines so bright and the magic goes to forever.

But… but the magic didn’t goes to forever! But maybe… maybe just for this moment.
Maybe, at the right time, at the right place and for all the right reasons God will whisper a spell for the magic to goes forever.

Thank you for being my sunshine in the world full of magic and roller coaster.

If and only if he knows what’s inside my heart…

We met in an unexpected and crazy chance. But I learned to love him even though he is partly stranger to me…

Maybe he’s too young… (but I don’t think so!) or maybe I just expected too much from him.

I want to met him… I want to give him a power hug and kiss..And I want to tell him right in his ear how much I love him.

I accepted his flaws (and I’ll accept all his flaws, if given the chance). And no matter what my mind shouts for, my heart, trust everything he tells me.

He simply draws a smile in my face just by simply thinking about him or just by the thought that he is always there for me.

I hate to admit it but I think my heart was accidentally broken :’(

(Update: He told me that not to think about this.)

Ikaw lang pag-ibig sa buhay ko 
Ngunit bakit ka naman ganyan 
Walang tiwala sa akin 
Mahal na mahal naman kita 
Tunay ito, aking sinta 
Hindi kukupas kailan pa man 
Kahit itanong mo 
Kanino man, mahal kitang talaga 
Refrain: 
Gabi-gabi na lang 
Sa pagtulog ko 
Ikaw lang ang panaginip 
Pag ako’y gising na 
Ikaw pa rin ang nasa isip 
Kahit hindi mo ko kaipiling 
Asahan mong sa iyo pa rin 
Ang pusong ito 
Na iyong inangkin 
Ikaw lang ang tanging minamahal ko 
Huwag makinig kaninuman 
Ikaw lang naman at wala nang iba 
Sana ay maniwala ka na 
Tunay ito, aking sinta 
Hindi kukupas kailan pa man 
Kahit itanong mo kaninuman 
Mahal kitang talaga 
Refrain: 
Gabi-gabi na lang 
Sa pagtulog ko 
Ikaw lang ang panaginip 
Pag ako’y gising na 
Ikaw pa rin ang nasa isip 
Kahit hindi mo ko kaipiling 
Asahan mong sa iyo pa rin 
Ang pusong ito 
Na iyong inangkin 
Gabi-gabi na lang 
Sa pagtulog ko 
Ikaw lang ang panaginip 
Pag ako’y gising na 
Ikaw pa rin ang nasa isip 
Kahit hindi mo ko kaipiling 
Asahan mong sa iyo pa rin 
Ang pusong ito 
Na iyong inangkin